Get everybody together, it's FAMILY NIGHT!

A while ago, Wal-Mart and Proctor & Gamble teamed up to start making and broadcasting terrible family films on Fox, ABC, and CBS.  It's called Family Movie Night, and I see the ads every now and then in Wal-Mart sales fliers... what's really great though is to read the descriptions of these terrible movies, and to rejoice in the fact that I will never have children, so I'll never be subjected to having to watch crap like--

oooh, it suddenly occurs to me that SOME PEOPLE here may be facing a future lifetime of crap kiddy movies and family filth just like these.  Man.  That's some tough luck.  BUT here they are, the plots of the movies!  They sound like something you might make up in order to poke fun at TV movies, but they're really, pathetically real.

A Walk in My Shoes:  Ever judge someone just by looking at them? Of course, we’ve all made snap judgments about people. But what if we really got to know them? How would our opinions change? And what if we were forced to become them… how would the shoes fit then? Stressed-out high school teacher Trish Fahey can’t understand her students’ lack of effort and why their parents don’t seem to care. This is especially true of Justin Kremer, a popular, skateboard-loving, basketball star who is underperforming in her class. Trish has him suspended from the team and quickly chalks up the situation as a case of bad parenting. This perspective dramatically changes when Trish meets Molly, a mysterious stranger intent on helping her see things differently. When Trish wrecks her car, Molly is there as Trish wakes to find herself living the life of Cindy Kremer, the woman she has personally judged and criticized. Trish discovers that there is often more to the story and learns a powerful lesson that affects everyone she interacts with. Her husband, her daughter, the ex-Marine next door… No one is left unchanged.

Secrets of the Mountain:  Somewhere between the demands of her career, her ex's wedding and her kids' busy schedules, Dana James (Paige Turco, The Agency) is noticing her tight-knit family starting to unravel. An unexpected offer to purchase her family's mountain property sets up a weekend road trip, which she hopes will bring her family back together. But when they arrive, they quickly learn that the mountain is much more than it seems. An ancient secret and a treacherous quest will test the family like never before. It's an edge-of-the seat thriller that reminds us that when times are tough, families don't run away from problems - they run back to each other.

The Jensen Project:  After a sixteen-year absence, CLAIRE and MATT THOMPSON reunite with The Jensen Project, a secret community of world-class geniuses doing cutting edge research they share anonymously to help the world. With the aid of their teenage son BRODY (15), they find themselves thrust into a suspenseful race to stop a plan that would allow a potentially dangerous technology to fall into the wrong hands. The Jensen Project is a roller-coaster adventure as Matt, Claire and Brody race against the clock following clues, thwarting evil schemes and rediscovering each other in the process. Ultimately, they not only fight to stop the rogue geniuses, but also discover the truth that healthy families are honest with each other.

Change of Plans:  (On the stupidity scale, this one is definitely my favorite.)  Up to this point, Sally Danville's life has played out just as she hoped it would. A beautiful and free-spirited musician, she and her fighter-pilot husband, Jason, live life on the go, free of domestic responsibilities. But with a single phone call from Child & Family Services case worker, Dorothy (Phylicia Rashad, The Cosby Show), she learns that things don't always go according to plan. Sally (Brooke White, American Idol) is met with the news that her best friend from college has died in a tragic accident on a Peace Corps mission and has named Sally the legal guardian of her four kids - 3 of them adopted from third-world countries. Now Sally and Jason (Joe Flanigan, Stargate Atlantis) must quickly learn to parent this instant family and help the kids deal with the culture clash of life in America. The story is both humorous and heartwarming, revealing how fulfilling life can be when you look beyond your own plans and invest in the lives of others.

Truth be Told:  When leading marriage counselor Annie Morgan (Candace Cameron Bure) is offered an opportunity to host a relationship talk show, she jumps at the chance. But fearful that being single might ruin her big break, she conspires with an old college friend and recent widower, Mark Crane (David James Elliott), to pose as a married couple with kids. Their story starts to unravel when Annie and Mark join her eccentric soon-to-be boss (Ronny Cox) for a weekend at his ranch in New Mexico. Comical misunderstandings mark the event as Annie struggles to keep up the ruse, finding herself emotionally invested and conflicted by her own conscience. Will she confess the truth about her marital status and her feelings for Mark... and will the truth set them free?  (Fun fact:  this is the exact same plot of "Christmas in Connecticut, which has itself already been made twice).

Field of Vision:  Not to be confused with Field of Dreams... or maybe they do want you to confuse it with that.  This movie has the distinction of being the movie with the least amount of plot, which required the writers to come up with a complete second plot to cram into the movie as well, in an attempt to make their running time. 


Through mysterious footage captured on an old malfunctioning video camera, Sinclair High School's star quarterback, Tyler McFarland, learns that some of his teammates have been bullying Cory Walker, a troubled new transfer student. Aware that sharing this information with the coach might get his friends kicked off the team and ultimately cost the school the state championship, Tyler must choose what's more important: winning or doing what's right.

As these events unfold, the camera also reveals more surprising footage to Tyler's kid sister Lucy. She learns that Cory has a secret past, unknown even to him. Now Lucy must convince her mom (Faith Ford, Murphy Brown) and family that the camera's revealing insight is not a product of her imagination as she enlists their help to find the answers Cory so desperately needs. It's a compelling and intriguing story that shows both the challenges and rewards of doing the right thing even when it's tough to do.

TV!

Found a nice slideshow of all the sucky new TV shows coming up this fall.  The war between the Lost ripoffs and the Mad Men ripoffs begins!

Movie season, part II

All right, my follow-up:

Thor: Might not rush out to see it, but it's definitely a future rental.  Thor's always going to be a tough sell, he's not the most exciting thing out there, but it looks all right.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides: Jesus, I love the first three films.  The mash-up of various mythologies combined with the intricate interplay of the characters (scheming, plotting, double-crossing, betrayal) make them really wonderful and much better than they ever should have been.  Early reviews indicate that this entry is more stripped-down and basic action-adventure (because people bitched about the first approach), so I might not like it as much... but what, I'm not going to see it?  Even a half-decent Pirates film is still better than most action-adventure work that's out there.

X-Men: First Class: Three months ago I wouldn't have pissed on it if it was on fire, but now I really want to see it.  That's a good trailer.

Super 8: There were people who didn't like Cloverfield?  I mean, okay, this one looks fine and all, probably quite good, but I'm still reeling here... Cloverfield is THE BEST monster film I have EVER seen.  It's a work of art.  What, you want Godzilla instead?

Green Lantern: Fuck, I can't even begin to care about this.  I like Green Lantern, but the Green Lantern Corps has always left me cold, it's just a bunch of whacky aliens in green costumes who have identical superpowers.  This one focuses on the Corps so damn much, I just can't get worked up at all over it.  And yeah, just too much CG.  And I've always thought Hal Jordan was the most boring of all the Green Lanterns.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2: What, after watching the first seven I'm not going to see the last one?  Am I insane?  Seriously, though, every Harry Potter film has been better than the last, encapsulating the very best parts of a fine but flawed kiddie book series.

Captain America: The First Avenger: Yeah, that does look a little cheesy, but I think I actually like the look of it better than Thor.  The problem is, by its very nature this is just an into movie.  It's just "hey, here's Captain America, here's who he is, this is his shield, go see him in Avengers."  Will anything that happens in this film have any consequence beyond that?  For most moviegoers, there doesn't need to be anything more, but for your average nerd on the street who's already familiar with the character, the introduction has already been made and the movie needs to go beyond that.

Cowboys & Aliens: This one I have to disagree with you a bit on.  It doesn't look stupid, far from it, but it does look maybe a little cliched.  Admitting completely that I could be wrong, it looks like a mash-up of two genres that revels in the genre conventions but makes no attempt to add anything beyond that.  I hope I'm wrong, because damn, I love me some Harrison Ford action.

Conan the Barbarian: You already know this will probably be bad before you watch it.

Apollo 18: I love conspiracy stories and creepy alternate takes on reality (not that I believe any of them are true, I just enjoy hearing them), so I admit that yeah, this thing looks interesting and eerie.  Who knows if it'll be good, but I like the concept.

Let's see, what else is out there... Kung Fu Panda 2, I hate talking animals and I hate Jack Black even more... The Hangover Part II, I get it, they were drunk, I get it... Cars 2, I think I just found something I hate more than talking animals, and Larry the Cable Guy could fall off the planet and I'd be fine... Transformers 3, you didn't mention that one!  I actually enjoy watching the action sequences in the trailers, but I wouldn't want to sit through a stupid movie to get to them... Winnie the Pooh, god bless the return of hand-drawn animation... The Smurfs can suck my ass... Rise of the Planet of the Apes I've talked about... but Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris also comes out in June sometime, and you know I'll be there for that.

It's movie season!

Here are the films I think you should see throughout the Spring and Summer. if you don't see a film listed, it's because I have a reason for not wanting to see it. Watch the trailers and decide for yourselves you helpless bastards.

Thor: It's already out and I've already seen it, as a lot of folks have. I think Kenneth Branagh made a great superhero movie that nicely incorporated his experience in Shakespearean theater. Trailer

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides: Pirates are cool. That's why you should see this. Trailer

X-Men: First Class: If you're not one of those overly-critical comic fanboys, then you've likely enjoyed the trailers so far. Trailer

Super 8: Directed by J.J. Abrams. This looks fantastic. J.J. Abrams gained a lot of credit with me for Cloverfield. Some people hate Cloverfield with a passion. I thought it was a great take on the giant monster movie that we've never seen before. Every other monster movie focuses on the scientists, or the military. Cloverfield was a look at it from the perspective of someone caught in the middle that doesn't have a fucking clue what's going on. It's the perspective that 98% of us would have if something like that actually happened. Super 8 looks like it has the sense of mystery that Cloverfield had, but it also looks like it has the feel of a film like E.T. Trailer

Green Lantern: This one is barely on the list. I want to see it, but it looks like a spectacle film. All the great special effects can't hide shitty acting or a shitty plot (Avatar anyone?) and the trailers make me feel like something is missing. Trailer

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2: If you don't want to see this, then you're dead inside, and I can do nothing about that. Trailer

Captain America: The First Avenger: Although the trailers make this seem a bit too campy for my tastes; I'll still be in line opening weekend. Watch for Dum Dum Dugan in the trailer, cause he's there! Trailer

Cowboys & Aliens: I love a good western film and I love a good alien film. I'll be seeing this with people other than my wife, since she says it looks stupid. She also says that fixing me dinner every night is stupid too, so let's just say her and I disagree on a few things. Trailer

Conan the Barbarian: This is is also barely on the list. I'm a pretty big Conan fan, and my opinion that they chose the wrong guy for Conan almost nullifies every other desire to see the film. Trailer

Apollo 18: This may change based on the reviews, but I'm interested on seeing what the creepy film is all about. Trailer

News Fail

A German news network known as N24 recently aired a piece about the SEAL team that killed Osama Bin Laden. Here is a screenshot of the program when they were displaying the SEAL team’s logo. Notice anything amiss?

Still nothing? Take a closer look at the logo they used:

Now, I’m no expert, but I see a few things here that should have tipped them off to showing the wrong logo

1. The word Maquis

2. A Kllingon skull.

3. Three Klingon Bat’leths.

4. A fucking phaser.

Here are some other photos I’ve located about SEAL Team 6.

SEAL Team 6 Black Hawk Helicopter

Ghazi Air Base in Pakistan where the assault was launched from.

A previously unreleased picture of the shot that killed Bin Laden.

Kudos to your crack team of editors and fact-checkers. I know Obama is good, but I don’t think he was able to bring in a mercenary force from the 24^th century.

Here's the logo they should have used:

Big old nerd, talking about his comic books

The past four days have been pretty awesome, reading about Marvel's plans for Ultimate Comics.  At first, I thought it felt silly to relaunch the books with new #1 issues when they just did that two years prior (and to be clear, the books are being relaunched but continuity is not being reset, thankfully).  But after further thought, it makes sense to me.  The last two years have seen a very small number of books being produced, mostly in the form of miniseries, which is not a publishing format that leads to big readership.  With such a small group of books and such erratic publishing, it's felt like the line was coasting toward its death.  But Marvel felt that too, and they found a need to recapture focus and bring back ongoing series, and that is the news this week.

(Above: the variant covers for Ultimate Fallout #1-6, which bridges the gap between Death of Spider-Man and the relaunch).


Marvel's first announcement was a new series for The Ultimates.  I'm glad to see them getting away from the concept of The Ultimates as a series of miniseries.  That wasn't their initial plan at all, and only ended up being necessary because they kept hiring people who couldn't perform on a monthly schedule.  Scripts will be by Jonathan Hickman, whose pedigree includes the Ultimate Thor mini, but who is mainly known for his current run on Fantastic Four (or FF, I guess it's called now).  He's shown that he's comfortable with big ideas and a lot of change, and that definitely fits the Ultimates.  Art is from Esad Ribic, whose art I know but am not really familiar with.  I remember it as kind of a gritty realist look, but not overly so, and he can actually draw fast enough to keep a monthly book going.  The team will feature Nick Fury, Thor, Spider-Woman, Hulk (Bruce Banner), and "other heroes, but no Captain America," including brand new Ultimate-only characters. Very happy to see Spider-Woman get a bigger role.  Other than that, the interview contains all the usual Ultimates hallmarks:  big stories, big action, lots of stuff happening, while at the same time promising to be more focused, more conscious of the other books in the line, and oh yeah, actually coming out on a monthly schedule, which is desperately needed.

Announcement number 2, a new Ultimate X-Men book.  And hooray for that, I loved Ultimate X-Men and was sad to see it die.  Scripts are by Nick Spencer, who did... I want to say he's done some Marvel work, but I can't remember.  His Image book "Morning Glories" is apparently very popular, though.  Art is by Paco Medina, who did a recent stint on the new X-Men series (the one with the vampires).  For the X-Men, I find his art too cartoony, but for Ultimate X-Men, I can actually see it working.  This book needs a kind of big, electric, larger-than-life feel (see past art from Adam Kubert, Kaare Andrews, Stuart Immonen), and he can definitely do that.  The book's core cast will include Kitty Pride, Iceman, the Human Torch, Rogue, and "Jimmy Hudson," who I'm guessing is James Hudson, Guardian from Alpha Flight.  The X-Men are back to their old status quo of being hunted and hiding in secret, having to "save each other" rather than saving the world, while a new mutant pops up on the other side of the globe who raises questions about what mutants really are (and also acts as the main villain).  Sounds like an exciting set-up, and a big change from the "rehashing the nineties" vibe the book was stuck in before it was canceled.  Another benefit is the return to a small, focused cast, and Spencer says his main focus will be on Kitty and Rogue, which is also an awesome choice (I really like Kitty, I have a thing for Jewish brunettes...).  Of course, what all this means for Jeph Loeb's current Ultimate X book remains to be seen.  Considering it's put out 4 issues in the past 13 months, and issue 5 would finish the story arc, I think it's a pretty safe bet to say it's ending.

We're still getting some miniseries, of course, because minis have always played an important part of the Ultimate line (and they actually have good minis, unlike most lines).  Launching in August is a Hawkeye solo mini, which is again written by Jonathan Hickman, and pencilled by Rafa Sandoval, who turned in some really great work on Ultimate Enemy.  This mini apparently ties in with Hickman's first Ultimates arc, and guest stars Jean Grey and Hulk, who are currently featured in... ta da... Jeph Loeb's Ultimate X.  Look, I know this is just being released so there's some Hawkeye product on the shelves in time for next year's Avengers movie, but they do that all the time and the miniseries have still always been good (Ultimate Thor, Ultimate Captain America, Ultimate Iron Man, Ultimate Human...).  I expect this will be too.

But let's stop stalling and get to the main event.  Ultimate Spider-Man, new #1 issue, new ongoing series.  And a sweet new costume, I really like it.  Scripts are of course by Brian Michael Bendis, because Brian Michael Bendis has been writing it for the past 11 years and why the hell should he stop now?  I really can't even imagine anyone else writing the book.  Art is by Sara Pichelli, who actually drew a few Ultimate Spider-Man issues before the relaunch.  I want to say #15, and then 151 through 154, something like that.  I haven't read those yet, so I can't comment on her art, but I've heard some positive stuff.  Okay, let's talk about the big issue, though:  who is Spider-Man now?  Bendis is coy in the interview, but we do know who WON'T be wearing the costume.  At any rate, I have great faith in Bendis, and I'm excited that things are being shaken up a bit.  With a new Spider-Man movie coming out next year, Marvel could have chosen to push the book backwards toward its beginning and made it more "movie-audience-friendly."  I half expected to find out the the book was being relaunched altogether, and we'd be back at the origin story again (with an X-Men movie this year and an Avengers movie next year, it seemed like a logical conclusion for the whole Ultimate line).  But instead they've decided to continue pushing things forward, and create books that stand on their own with no analogue in the movies or the mainstream Marvel books.  It's a brave choice, and a good one.

So Ultimate Comics will still be here come this fall.  Maybe it's the feeling of freshness, maybe it's the excitement of reading books where anything can happen, maybe it's just the plain fact that they've had good people working on these books, but I'm happy to have them and happy to come back for more.

Couldn't finish it.  Made it halfway through the last season of Angel before my enthusiasm finally just gave out.  I hopped on Netflix Instant Play, watched the episode with the puppets and the one with Spike and Angel in Rome, and that was that.  Maybe I'll still watch the series finale, though... I saw a bit of it when they aired, and I know it ends with the cast surrounded by enemies and facing certain death.  Now if I could just see them EXPERIENCE that certain death, that'd be even better.

I didn't expect 10 Items or Less to be too great, either, but I was wrong about that.  10 Items is a terrific indie comedy from 2006 starring Morgan Freeman (who basically plays himself, though he's never named in the film).  While researching for an upcoming role, Freeman finds himself at a rundown hispanic grocery store in a poor neighborhood in California, with no way to get home.  A cashier takes pity on him and decides to help him get home, and in exchange he takes it upon himself to try to improve her life.

It's hard to describe the film without making it sound cheesy, and maybe it is a little bit, but Freeman's warm humor and humanity are on full display here, and it turns this genuinely funny comedy into something more.  When Freeman went into the poor neighborhood, I expected to see something along the lines of Bulworth:  gritty depictions of harsh life, gangs, drugs... director Brad Silberling made an interesting choice though, and instead of going for the visceral he depicted the quiet desperation of the lower-middle class, something not as splashy but more universal, not as heartbreaking but more pathetically sad.  This is about a woman who nearly skips a job interview because she can't go to Target to buy a new shirt, who has to beg to borrow her own car from her ex-husband.  As tragedies go, these aren't comparable to those in, say, The Bicycle Thief, but that doesn't make them any less tragic to the people experiencing them.

As I said, what really shines throughout the film is Morgan Freeman, who seems to carry a warm conviction that everyone is worthwhile and worthy of love.  He's extremely charismatic, and engaging with everyone, and I really get the feeling he's not so much playing a role here as just being himself.  But for as upbeat and inspirational as Freeman is, he's not condescending.  This isn't a film about how your dreams will come true if you believe in yourself.  This is a film about hard work, and how some things will happen and other things won't, but if you stop working then you stop living.  A good message, and a realistic one.

It's a truly loveable film, and well worth seeing.

On the other end of the happiness spectrum, we have The Children's Hour, with Audrey Hepburn and Shirley MacLaine.  This is another film from director William Wyler, whose The Best Years of Our Lives I positively reviewed a while ago.  It's from 1961, which you'll want to keep in mind as I describe the plot:  the film takes place at a private girls' boarding school run by two women.  One particular little girl, spoiled and rich and spoiled, misbehaves constantly and is always finding herself at odds with her headmistresses.  While home on vacation, she decides to do whatever is necessary to avoid going back, and she tells her grandmother that she saw the two headmistresses kissing each other but that, innocent little girl that she is, she doesn't understand what that means.

Of course she knows exactly what it means, and things spiral downward from there.  The film boldly portrays the malicious homophobia of the WASP gentry, and shows how much even a simple rumor could absolutely destroy two people's lives (and let's not pretend the same situation couldn't happen the same way today).  It also repeatedly calls into question the supposed innocence of children, in fine Lord-of-the-Flies fashion.  In short, it's not an easy film to watch.  This is dark, horrible stuff, but enthralling.

This is not a film about homosexual issues, though (the word "lesbian" is never once used in the script).  The characters all treat homosexuality as an abhorrence, as a dark mental disorder, and there's no one to suggest that it might be normal.  Toward the very end, there is a scene that acknowledges that homosexuality is not a choice, and this was dangerous enough for a 1961 filmmaker to say.  The discussion of homosexuality itself goes no further, but what we have in its place is a vivid, dark portrait of raw hate.  Audrey Hepburn plays her part well as always, but Shirley MacLaine is transcendent (not many actresses at the time had the guts to realistically portray a truly disturbed person, but MacLaine does it here and in The Apartment with fury and gusto).  Most of the other actors unfortunately can't keep up, and the balls-to-the-wall 60s soundtrack shatters subtlety at some points (film soundtracks are, generally, my least favorite part of the cinematic experience).  This, and just the overall darkness of the piece, make The Children's Hour impossible to love but very easy to appreciate.  One Netflix reviewer said it was so hard to watch that they couldn't even make it to the end.  And I don't think I'd be spoiling anything by saying it doesn't end well.

I had never seen all of Amadeus, and that is a problem that I was able to remedy last week.  If you're not familiar with the basic plot of Amadeus and/or live in a cave, it's about the rivalry between Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and his greatest admirer/most bitter enemy, Salieri.  Salieri was the court composer of Vienna, celebrated in his time and absolutely forgotten today (his operas appear to be entirely absent from the Metropolitan Opera's repertoire).  In this version of events, the film being widely regarded as not at all historically accurate, Salieri recognizes Mozart's genius but does everything in his power to destroy him, because he can't stand the thought of such a young and wild man being so gifted (this portrayal of his character is evidently true).

The first forty minutes of the film suffer from some really terrible pacing issues, the plot galloping along so wildly that it leaves a fair bit of confusion in its wake.  But once it settles down to its main purpose, the story is told brilliantly, full of emotion and humor and gorgeous music.  The music is used to fantastic effect, framing sequences, revealing inner monologues, and sometimes even telling the story itself.  It surprises me that this is based on a play, because I have trouble imagining it as one.  As a film, it's grand and spectacular while never betraying its emotional core.

Really wonderful acting, too.  Really, really, wonderful.  And a fantastic depiction of Viennese fashion, most wig-and-pantaloon historical epics are afraid to show the real absurdity of what these people actually wore.  Amadeus portrays Vienna's elite in all their bizarre powdered glory, and it's something to see.  Anyway, what else can be said about it, you've heard of it, you know it's a classic.  A fine lesson on classical music and opera, and a hell of a lot of fun besides.

Finally moving from film to literature, let's talk about Tai-Pan. Tai-Pan, as you'll remember if you've been paying way too much attention to me, is the second book of James Clavell's Asian Saga, the first book being Shogun.  Shogun was a good book with a lot of problems; Clavell set out to explore the totality of Japanese existence circa 1600, and as a result he ran afoul of some truly horrible pacing issues, where the book raced along and ground to a screeching halt all at the same time.

Tai-Pan is a much tighter affair.  The story concerns the founding of the British colony of Hong Kong, and the merchants and military men who settled there.  Particularly it centers on a man named Dirk Struan, and for god's sake never tell anybody that you're reading a book with a character named Dirk Struan.  One bad name choice aside, Straun is a strong character, tough and intelligent and devious without being cold-hearted.  The Chinese government wants him out, the British think he's wasting their time with Hong Kong, and his rival merchants want him dead.  Struan's story is classic adventure, with pirate attacks, secret plots to overthrow the Chinese Emperor, sea battles, desperate races against time to save a life... it's a tightly-paced story, a whirlwind, which is not something one often finds in a 700+ page novel.

Like Shogun, the story is based off of real people and real events, but names and circumstances are changed to allow greater freedom to explore the world of China in 1841.  Unfortunately we don't see as much of China as we see of Japan in Shogun; aside from a few settlements, China was absolutely closed off to foreigners at this time.  There are a number of Chinese characters in the story, and we gain enough insight into the Chinese mind and lifestyle to gain a decent understanding of their culture, just not quite as much as I hoped.

Still, if I have to sacrifice some expansive knowledge to gain a perfect plot, so be it.  I understand that Clavell is mainly interested in the points of conflict between Europeans and Asians, and if China was mostly closed to foreigners then that has to limit the scope of the conflict.  In these points of conflict, Clavell is as usual very even-handed.  The Chinese are better than the Europeans in some ways, the Europeans are better in others.  Clavell is neither a grizzled flag-waving patriot nor a doe-eyed Japanophile who automatically assumes that everything Asian is better.  Clavell stays objective throughout, and this is definitely one of his best qualities.

But okay, here I am calmly analyzing a fast-paced and truly wonderful adventure story.  How do I portray the excitement?  (Did I mention there were pirates?  Who doesn't love a good pirate story!)  It's hard to convey, so let me just reiterate again that this is a 700+ page book, and it never at any point feels slow or dragging.  Clavell is relentless in putting his hero through his paces, and he accurately portrays all the danger and constant risk involved in the enterprise.  The characters feel a bit one-dimensional when they're introduced, but as the story progresses they're rounded out beautifully.  Even after 700 pages, I was sad when it ended.  I wanted to read more of them.  I wasn't ready to say goodbye.  And the ending is truly perfect, the absolute culmination of Clavell's two main points:  that life is all about luck, good or bad, and that it would take something truly beyond human to destroy a man like Struan.

Lately I've really found myself wanting to pick up another volume of Essential X-Men.  I have the first four volumes, and Marvel has released nine in total.  There's really no way to describe the X-Men in the 1980s.  They were phenomenal, and unlike anything that had ever been published before.  They are the only reason that Chris Claremont still has a job writing comics 20 years later.  Back then, before the X-Men became a huge established franchise, he could and would do anything with them, and it was awesome.

TV-o-rama:  What TV shows am I watching right now?  Making my way through The West Wing, of course... season 4 of Mad Men, which is still as good as ever... been watching some old first-season episodes of Cheers, and they're pretty fun for an old sitcom, some episodes are better than others and I'm definitely looking forward to Frasier showing up... Seinfeld is still as ludicrously fantastic as I remembered... and of course I've been working my way through The Simpsons again, because yeah, it's The Simpsons... in terms of new shows, I watch The Simpsons and Parks and Recreation every week, and I also watch Community but lately I can't work up too much enthusiasm for it.  Some episodes are beautifully done and emotionally striking, and others are just ironic, detached parodies that provide a few solid laughs but feel vapid in the end.  They seem to be settling into their new role as a pop-culture commentary show, and that's a departure from the much more grounded and satisfying first season. 

This week's reading:  I'm already a third of the way into the 1200-page brick of a book that is Clavell's next volume, Gai-Jin.  It brings together plot threads and themes from Shogun and Tai-Pan, bringing to a close the pre-modern era in Asia before European influence became pervasive.  I've been looking forward to this one since the first time I read Tai-Pan a few years ago, and I'm finding that 1) I'm glad I waited and read Shogun first, and 2) it was worth the wait.