So, when I heard a film was being made based off the boardgame Battleship, I asked, "How the fuck can Battleship be turned into a movie?"
Here y'all go
So, I guess the classic catchphrase was always meant to be: You sunk my battleship...with an alien space torpedo!
I think that any boardgame could be turned into a film with the addition of aliens. This is just lazy writing.
I'd watch Chutes and Ladders the movie if it had aliens. "Oh my god, I can't get up this ladder to save my family because there's a goddamn alien in the way!"
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Fight the power (but not on anything important)!
Dear nerds, this is why people hate you:
A cadre of fans is organizing a walk at Comic-Con International in San Diego to protest the September relaunch of DC Comics’ superhero line.Yes, please, let's get absolutely furious and organize and stage a whole big hooplah over some changes in COMIC BOOKS. There are literally millions of starving children in India who would LOVE to have your problems.
Planned for Saturday, July 23, the DC Original Protest Walk is intended to bring together disenchanted readers in a show of solidarity against the sweeping overhaul, which will see the release of 52 new No. 1 issues, as well as changes to the origins and appearances of many of the publisher’s characters.
“Are you utterly baffled, disappointed and just ANGRY to see how DC ruins your favorite character’s design and wipes decades of comic history out of the mainstream universe?” reads a message on the event’s Facebook page. “Well, you’re not alone! And why not make some noise at the biggest pop-culture event this year, where creators, artists and writers appear in person — show them how fans – the fans of the classic characters, the (nevertheless slightly changing) designs, the character’s history and personality — really feel about it!”
So far, 130 people have signaled they plan to attend the hour-long protest, which begins at 2 p.m.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Top ten
What the hell, it's a slow day at work... top ten favorite comic books! Here we go!
(these are in no particular order, just entering them as I think of them)
1. New X-Men (X-Men #114-154): It's impossible to overstate how different Morrison's X-Men run was from everything that had come before, and everything that's happened since. It's amazing that this book was ever published. It certainly wouldn't have had a chance today. Morrison systematically tore through the X-Men mythos and themes, deconstructed them and put them back together in a modern context (or, if they didn't work, left them torn apart and ridiculed them, like the idea of the old-school world-conquering supervillain). It read like the ultimate culmination of 40 years of X-Men continuity, a final summation of every thread and idea. Of course, it wasn't, Marvel quickly ignored what had happened and moved on to other things. But for those of us who read it, the X-Men would never feel the same.
2. X-Statix (X-Force #116-129, X-Statix #1-26, X-Statix presents Dead Girl #1-5): Launched the same month as New X-Men, the reinvented X-Force is another book that could never have been published before, and never will be again. Peter Milligan wrote a book that served as a wry commentary on superheroes and the media, while somehow managing to be more than satire, with beautifully-done character work and horrifically real consequences. The book touched on race relations, mental disorders, homosexuality, the loss of loved ones, and more, and did it all with garish costumes and one character who looks like a flying green potato. Mike Allred's retro-styled art gave the book an innocent 60s look, making X-Statix feel like a book out of time, allowing it to further toy with the genre's conventions and play its own artistic innocence against itself. There will never be another book like this one, and that's fine. It couldn't be duplicated even if someone tried.
3. Howard the Duck (Howard the Duck #1-27, 29-31): HTD is another book that could only existed at one point in time. In the 1970s, the populace had become more concerned about social issues, and social commentary proliferated TV shows, movies, and comic books. At the same time, underground comix had begun to rise in popularity; these were generally VERY adult comic books, printed in very limited runs, full of drug usage, sex, and of course social commentary. But more relevant to Howard, they were also a large number of comix which parodied existing cartoon characters like Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. At this confluence of events, Marvel decided to publish Steve Gerber's Howard the Duck. Howard was naturally full of social commentary, and as the book progressed it did deal with some surprisingly adult situations, though they were not portrayed graphically as in comix. The book often dove into parody and even dabbled in the surreal. But the real standout is just the character of Howard himself. Most writers now treat him as just a cantankerous caricature, basically what you'd expect, but Gerber's Howard was a work of art, a character who hated the world around him but only because it was such a disappointment, who abrasively hated people but only because he loved them so much. Marvel would eventually ask Gerber to tone down the adult nature of the book, which was too smart, complex, and sophisticated for the children who Marvel considered its audience. Gerber refused and left. Three final issues were published, one an old fill-in script by Gerber and two written by Bill Mantlo, and though the magic is completely absent from them they do finish the story, so they're worth reading for that. I've read my volume of The Essential Howard the Duck probably three or four times now, and each time I can't believe how good it really is.
4. Ultimate Spider-Man (Ultimate Spider-Man #1/2, 1-133, Ultimatum Requiem: Spider-Man #1-2): This one had a huge impact on comics, bringing decompressed storytelling into vogue (in layman's terms, not cramming a story into a single issue but allowing it to breathe over a longer stretch of issues, making it more cinematic and allowing finer character work). As reviewers will generally point out, Ultimate Spider-Man is a book that does not reveal its greatness issue by issue; every issue is GOOD, but there's rarely an issue that blows you away. But when read in long form, in sequence, it reveals how great it is. Brian Michael Bendis created the perfect superhero book, a blend of action and character work that is simply unparalleled. The book is an incredible piece of realism, keeping its fantasy elements explainable while portraying real characters who have real conversations, real problems, and suffer genuine consequences. It's the ultimate (forgive the pun) incarnation of what Stan Lee was trying to do in the 60s with the first Spider-Man comics, and it will never be better than this. I don't list the second volume of the series up above because I haven't read them all, although if pressed I'd have to say it hasn't really been as good as the old stuff.
5. Alpha Flight (Alpha Flight #1-69): After their appearance in X-Men, Marvel wanted John Byrne to write and draw a spinoff series for Alpha Flight. What's surprising is that initially Byrne didn't want to do it; it's surprising because once he started the book, he created some of the best work of his life. Byrne started the book in an interesting way: the first 12 issues focused on only one or two members of the team at a time, allowing him to delve into them and really create the characters in a way most team books don't allow. He then increased the amount of team interaction, and by issue 24 finally had an issue where everyone was together. The stories are phenomenal; while most superheroes are based in science, Alpha Flight largely dabbled in mythology, and the mystic bent created a whole new type of superhero book (this was also possibly the first Marvel book to feature a gay character, though at this point in time Byrne couldn't just come out and say Northstar was gay, he had to still skirt around it a bit). Byrne left with issue 28 to work on Hulk, and Bill Mantlo took over. At first Bill pretty much served the same function he had on Howard the Duck, after a few issues he found his voice and started to take the book in a fascinating direction. By issue 50 he had completely dismantled the team, leaving some characters dead and some simply absent. Issues 51 through 69 are my favorites of the series, as the small cluster of remaining Alphans try to work together to find their place in the world, accompanied by the stunning mainstream comics debut of artist Jim Lee. The series would continue to issue 130 and experience three subsequent relaunches, but it would never be even nearly as good (the current series, from the preview pages I've read, looks terrible). Byrne and Mantlo's work here is certainly not one of the greatest comics of all time, but for its sheer energy, its difference, and its great characters, I love it.
6. All-New All-Different X-Men (Uncanny X-Men #94-144): When Chris Claremont relaunched the X-Men in 1975, he took a book that was Marvel's lowest seller and turned it into their highest. While Claremont's more recent work has ranged from bad to appalling, his classic work on X-Men was endlessly innovative. First of all, the book featured a multi-national, multi-racial cast, something unheard of at the time. Second, he threw the conventional superhero format out the window; these were not heroes who went out to fight villains, these were people just trying to survive and protect each other, who found themselves constantly under attack and had to fight to live. Third, Claremont made the book an odyssey, taking the characters around the world, across the universe, and through dimensions, making the X-Men not just a team but a universe unto themselves. Finally, my favorite thing: Claremont adamantly refused to allow the book a status quo. The team and its circumstances constantly shifted, characters changed, left, came back, grew mohawks, and died as blazing cosmic entities. The book was not a franchise back then, Claremont had total freedom and he used it. Claremont's main run on X-Men would continue all the way though issue 280; I can only call the first 50 or so issues my favorite because those are the ones I'm most familiar with. No judgment on the rest of his run, that's just the stuff I know the best. But I'll say this, I'm constantly looking for cheap copies of Essential X-Men to complete my set, and complete my experience of Claremont's unique odyssey.
7. Secret Wars (Marvel Super Heroes: Secret Wars #1-12): The very first event comic, the first book to bring together a bulk quantity of the company's heroes and villains and make them fight. What turns the lovably old-school action into a truly great book is the fact that Marvel's conflicted and personality-clashing heroes are used to their utmost, with shifting allegiances and internal fights aplenty. The action is perfect, with sneak attacks and daring raids and a big ending where Dr. Doom betrays everyone and goes for the source of absolute power. It is nothing less than awesome, and a must-read for everyone.
8. The Dark Knight Returns (The Dark Knight Returns #1-4): There's little love for DC on this list... it's not that DC hasn't made great comics that really interest me, it's just that I haven't read them. Morrison's Doom Patrol and Animal Man sound absolutely great, I just don't have them. And I only have a couple of issues of All-Star Superman (#1 and 2). Dennis O'Neill's 70s run on Batman sounds great, as does the 70s run of Green Lantern/Green Arrow, but they're not available in the way that Marvel reprints all their old stuff in cheap black & white. Beyond that, I find their heroes too shiny, flawless, and all-get-along happy, and their event stories too ridiculously over-the-top, mired in time-travel, dimension-crossing, and the minutiae of decades of DC history. The Dark Knight Returns is the antithesis of all that, a dystopian look at the real effects of vigilante justice, a vision of the future where Batman is aging but is needed more than ever. The book really shows us that when it comes to Superman vs Batman, Superman is the deadly one, a man with too great of power and the morality of a little boy, too easily manipulated because of his sense of right and wrong and too powerful to ever be trusted. It's a deconstruction of DC heroes themselves, and it began the grim-and-gritty era of superhero comics where the antihero became more popular than the hero. Now things have swung back the other way, the bright shiny heroes are in charge again. Even The Dark Knight Strikes Again served as a celebration of Superman and the like. Personally, I'll always prefer this grim vision. It may not be happy, but it's real.
9. Watchmen: Everyone would put this on their list, but really is that good, it really does deserve to be on this list. I think there are some works of art that you always appreciate more than you love, though, and this is one of those. It's not something that I excitedly read over and over again and enjoy like crazy, but it's something that reveals a beautiful complexity each time. The first truly realist take on superheroes in the real world, and a wonderful work of art. I'm also looking forward to Marvel reprinting Alan Moore's Miracleman so I can finally read that too.
10. Ultimate Marvel Team-Up (UMTU #1-16, Ultimate Spider-Man Super Special #1): I just love the hell out of this book. I've always loved Marvel Team-Up, and this is the best version ever published. Each month, Bendis teamed Ultimate Spider-Man up with a new Ultimate version of a classic Marvel character, illustrated by a stable of small-press and indie artists, many of whom had never appeared in a Marvel book before. And it was awesome. The book ended purely because Bendis was just too busy to write it, though that's probably just as well. I'd rather have a little of a great thing than a lot of an okay thing. Just pure fun and excitement from beginning to end, with gorgeous art, quirky and fun and endlessly enjoyable. It may seem like cheating to have both this and Ultimate Spider-Man on the list, but what the hell. I really love this book.
(these are in no particular order, just entering them as I think of them)
1. New X-Men (X-Men #114-154): It's impossible to overstate how different Morrison's X-Men run was from everything that had come before, and everything that's happened since. It's amazing that this book was ever published. It certainly wouldn't have had a chance today. Morrison systematically tore through the X-Men mythos and themes, deconstructed them and put them back together in a modern context (or, if they didn't work, left them torn apart and ridiculed them, like the idea of the old-school world-conquering supervillain). It read like the ultimate culmination of 40 years of X-Men continuity, a final summation of every thread and idea. Of course, it wasn't, Marvel quickly ignored what had happened and moved on to other things. But for those of us who read it, the X-Men would never feel the same.
2. X-Statix (X-Force #116-129, X-Statix #1-26, X-Statix presents Dead Girl #1-5): Launched the same month as New X-Men, the reinvented X-Force is another book that could never have been published before, and never will be again. Peter Milligan wrote a book that served as a wry commentary on superheroes and the media, while somehow managing to be more than satire, with beautifully-done character work and horrifically real consequences. The book touched on race relations, mental disorders, homosexuality, the loss of loved ones, and more, and did it all with garish costumes and one character who looks like a flying green potato. Mike Allred's retro-styled art gave the book an innocent 60s look, making X-Statix feel like a book out of time, allowing it to further toy with the genre's conventions and play its own artistic innocence against itself. There will never be another book like this one, and that's fine. It couldn't be duplicated even if someone tried.
3. Howard the Duck (Howard the Duck #1-27, 29-31): HTD is another book that could only existed at one point in time. In the 1970s, the populace had become more concerned about social issues, and social commentary proliferated TV shows, movies, and comic books. At the same time, underground comix had begun to rise in popularity; these were generally VERY adult comic books, printed in very limited runs, full of drug usage, sex, and of course social commentary. But more relevant to Howard, they were also a large number of comix which parodied existing cartoon characters like Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. At this confluence of events, Marvel decided to publish Steve Gerber's Howard the Duck. Howard was naturally full of social commentary, and as the book progressed it did deal with some surprisingly adult situations, though they were not portrayed graphically as in comix. The book often dove into parody and even dabbled in the surreal. But the real standout is just the character of Howard himself. Most writers now treat him as just a cantankerous caricature, basically what you'd expect, but Gerber's Howard was a work of art, a character who hated the world around him but only because it was such a disappointment, who abrasively hated people but only because he loved them so much. Marvel would eventually ask Gerber to tone down the adult nature of the book, which was too smart, complex, and sophisticated for the children who Marvel considered its audience. Gerber refused and left. Three final issues were published, one an old fill-in script by Gerber and two written by Bill Mantlo, and though the magic is completely absent from them they do finish the story, so they're worth reading for that. I've read my volume of The Essential Howard the Duck probably three or four times now, and each time I can't believe how good it really is.
4. Ultimate Spider-Man (Ultimate Spider-Man #1/2, 1-133, Ultimatum Requiem: Spider-Man #1-2): This one had a huge impact on comics, bringing decompressed storytelling into vogue (in layman's terms, not cramming a story into a single issue but allowing it to breathe over a longer stretch of issues, making it more cinematic and allowing finer character work). As reviewers will generally point out, Ultimate Spider-Man is a book that does not reveal its greatness issue by issue; every issue is GOOD, but there's rarely an issue that blows you away. But when read in long form, in sequence, it reveals how great it is. Brian Michael Bendis created the perfect superhero book, a blend of action and character work that is simply unparalleled. The book is an incredible piece of realism, keeping its fantasy elements explainable while portraying real characters who have real conversations, real problems, and suffer genuine consequences. It's the ultimate (forgive the pun) incarnation of what Stan Lee was trying to do in the 60s with the first Spider-Man comics, and it will never be better than this. I don't list the second volume of the series up above because I haven't read them all, although if pressed I'd have to say it hasn't really been as good as the old stuff.
5. Alpha Flight (Alpha Flight #1-69): After their appearance in X-Men, Marvel wanted John Byrne to write and draw a spinoff series for Alpha Flight. What's surprising is that initially Byrne didn't want to do it; it's surprising because once he started the book, he created some of the best work of his life. Byrne started the book in an interesting way: the first 12 issues focused on only one or two members of the team at a time, allowing him to delve into them and really create the characters in a way most team books don't allow. He then increased the amount of team interaction, and by issue 24 finally had an issue where everyone was together. The stories are phenomenal; while most superheroes are based in science, Alpha Flight largely dabbled in mythology, and the mystic bent created a whole new type of superhero book (this was also possibly the first Marvel book to feature a gay character, though at this point in time Byrne couldn't just come out and say Northstar was gay, he had to still skirt around it a bit). Byrne left with issue 28 to work on Hulk, and Bill Mantlo took over. At first Bill pretty much served the same function he had on Howard the Duck, after a few issues he found his voice and started to take the book in a fascinating direction. By issue 50 he had completely dismantled the team, leaving some characters dead and some simply absent. Issues 51 through 69 are my favorites of the series, as the small cluster of remaining Alphans try to work together to find their place in the world, accompanied by the stunning mainstream comics debut of artist Jim Lee. The series would continue to issue 130 and experience three subsequent relaunches, but it would never be even nearly as good (the current series, from the preview pages I've read, looks terrible). Byrne and Mantlo's work here is certainly not one of the greatest comics of all time, but for its sheer energy, its difference, and its great characters, I love it.
6. All-New All-Different X-Men (Uncanny X-Men #94-144): When Chris Claremont relaunched the X-Men in 1975, he took a book that was Marvel's lowest seller and turned it into their highest. While Claremont's more recent work has ranged from bad to appalling, his classic work on X-Men was endlessly innovative. First of all, the book featured a multi-national, multi-racial cast, something unheard of at the time. Second, he threw the conventional superhero format out the window; these were not heroes who went out to fight villains, these were people just trying to survive and protect each other, who found themselves constantly under attack and had to fight to live. Third, Claremont made the book an odyssey, taking the characters around the world, across the universe, and through dimensions, making the X-Men not just a team but a universe unto themselves. Finally, my favorite thing: Claremont adamantly refused to allow the book a status quo. The team and its circumstances constantly shifted, characters changed, left, came back, grew mohawks, and died as blazing cosmic entities. The book was not a franchise back then, Claremont had total freedom and he used it. Claremont's main run on X-Men would continue all the way though issue 280; I can only call the first 50 or so issues my favorite because those are the ones I'm most familiar with. No judgment on the rest of his run, that's just the stuff I know the best. But I'll say this, I'm constantly looking for cheap copies of Essential X-Men to complete my set, and complete my experience of Claremont's unique odyssey.
7. Secret Wars (Marvel Super Heroes: Secret Wars #1-12): The very first event comic, the first book to bring together a bulk quantity of the company's heroes and villains and make them fight. What turns the lovably old-school action into a truly great book is the fact that Marvel's conflicted and personality-clashing heroes are used to their utmost, with shifting allegiances and internal fights aplenty. The action is perfect, with sneak attacks and daring raids and a big ending where Dr. Doom betrays everyone and goes for the source of absolute power. It is nothing less than awesome, and a must-read for everyone.
8. The Dark Knight Returns (The Dark Knight Returns #1-4): There's little love for DC on this list... it's not that DC hasn't made great comics that really interest me, it's just that I haven't read them. Morrison's Doom Patrol and Animal Man sound absolutely great, I just don't have them. And I only have a couple of issues of All-Star Superman (#1 and 2). Dennis O'Neill's 70s run on Batman sounds great, as does the 70s run of Green Lantern/Green Arrow, but they're not available in the way that Marvel reprints all their old stuff in cheap black & white. Beyond that, I find their heroes too shiny, flawless, and all-get-along happy, and their event stories too ridiculously over-the-top, mired in time-travel, dimension-crossing, and the minutiae of decades of DC history. The Dark Knight Returns is the antithesis of all that, a dystopian look at the real effects of vigilante justice, a vision of the future where Batman is aging but is needed more than ever. The book really shows us that when it comes to Superman vs Batman, Superman is the deadly one, a man with too great of power and the morality of a little boy, too easily manipulated because of his sense of right and wrong and too powerful to ever be trusted. It's a deconstruction of DC heroes themselves, and it began the grim-and-gritty era of superhero comics where the antihero became more popular than the hero. Now things have swung back the other way, the bright shiny heroes are in charge again. Even The Dark Knight Strikes Again served as a celebration of Superman and the like. Personally, I'll always prefer this grim vision. It may not be happy, but it's real.
9. Watchmen: Everyone would put this on their list, but really is that good, it really does deserve to be on this list. I think there are some works of art that you always appreciate more than you love, though, and this is one of those. It's not something that I excitedly read over and over again and enjoy like crazy, but it's something that reveals a beautiful complexity each time. The first truly realist take on superheroes in the real world, and a wonderful work of art. I'm also looking forward to Marvel reprinting Alan Moore's Miracleman so I can finally read that too.
10. Ultimate Marvel Team-Up (UMTU #1-16, Ultimate Spider-Man Super Special #1): I just love the hell out of this book. I've always loved Marvel Team-Up, and this is the best version ever published. Each month, Bendis teamed Ultimate Spider-Man up with a new Ultimate version of a classic Marvel character, illustrated by a stable of small-press and indie artists, many of whom had never appeared in a Marvel book before. And it was awesome. The book ended purely because Bendis was just too busy to write it, though that's probably just as well. I'd rather have a little of a great thing than a lot of an okay thing. Just pure fun and excitement from beginning to end, with gorgeous art, quirky and fun and endlessly enjoyable. It may seem like cheating to have both this and Ultimate Spider-Man on the list, but what the hell. I really love this book.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Green Things
1. The Green Lantern film appears to suck. It's getting poor reviews across the interweb. I saw this coming, and am not surprised.
2. This trailer right here is fucking awesome. Watch it right now or I'll punch you in the dick.
2. This trailer right here is fucking awesome. Watch it right now or I'll punch you in the dick.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Superboots?
Huh.
I like change. I'm good with change. I definitely thing Superman's costume needed changed. I don't know what the hell they were going for with this, though. Is it supposed to be like armor? Is it supposed to make him look more alien? Is he a knight now? The top half doesn't even match the bottom half, it's like he got up too early and put on the wrong pants by mistake. What the hell is this?
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Re(lapse)launch -- UPDATED
I've been following DC Comic's September relaunch pretty heavily because it's interesting to watch a company try to completely reinvent itself. On the other hand, they may not exactly strike gold with "Frankenstein: Agent of SHADE" and "I, Vampire" ("Tortured by his centuries-old love for the Queen of the Damnned, Andrew Bennett must save humanity from the violent uprising of his fellow vampires, even if it means exterminating his own kind..." ech.), but you never know. Kids might want this stuff. The cover to Frankenstein looks weirdly interesting.
As I said last time, their second-and-third tier characters are getting some interesting relaunches (if they do "The Savage Hawkman" right, that one could be badass) (it probably won't be, but it COULD be).
But the money's not in the second-tier characters, unless lightning strikes and you really nail it. The money's in the big names... and that's where DC has a problem.
First, there will be four Green Lantern titles. Green Lantern, Green Lantern Corps, Green Lantern: The New Guardians, and Red Lanterns. While they're all written by different people, the showrunner here is Geoff Johns, who started writing GL in the mid 2000s and is currently a high corporate officer and Hollywood liaison for DC. His stories are sacrosanct, then, and so the GL relaunch will continue the thread of story elements that started in 2006/2007 with Rage of the Red Lanterns, coming through In Blackest Night and its obvious sequel In Brightest Day, and the War of the Green Lanterns. "New Guardians," for example, has a cast comprised of characters and concepts introduced in Blackest Night, and is helmed by 90s Green Lantern Kyle Rayner. "Corps" features Guy Gardner and John Stewart, who were both Lanterns in the 80s and 90s, though John at least had the visibility of starring in the Justice League cartoon.
I'm not worried about old characters still being used, but it worries me that there's an attempt to continue plot threads, especially plot threads that go back several years and through some pretty heavy continuity-filled storylines (Blackest Night is loaded with old dead DC characters that nobody knows about coming back to life; you sure you want to reference this?). That seems to be completely against the point of the relaunch, but again, it's Geoff Johns, and DC has to keep him happy.
They might get away with it on Green Lantern, but when it comes to Batman, the shit is pounding the fan.
That's Batwing. We'll come back to him.
Back in 2006 or so, Grant Morrison started writing Batman. He had a definite storyline in mind with a full, epic arc. Just to hit the highlights that I'm aware of: he found out he had a son, somewhere in there he became aware of the Batmen of Many Nations (a modern update of a bunch of characters from the 1950s, who are exactly what they sound like, international crimefighters inspired by Batman), was ignobly killed, got lost in time, Dick Grayson became Batman, Bruce's son became Robin, Bruce fought his way back through the timestream and became Batman again but also Dick was still Batman, and Bruce set out across the globe to form Batman Inc. and bring together the Batmen of Many Nations.
Batwing is an African Batman. He's getting his own book, because DC has like two other books with black people in them.
But Grant didn't finish his story before the reboot, it was still going on. So in 2012, Batman Inc. will resume, and Grant will have a big 12-part finale to finish his story. Grant is like Geoff Johns, a sacrosanct member of the writing staff, so he gets to do this. And it's an insane idea, you're hoping to get new readers, and for that you dump them off at the tail end of a six-year storyline?
Of course Grant Morrison deserves it, no writer deserves to have their story cut off. But the truth is that it happens all the time. Cancellations, relaunches, creative team changes, crossover storylines that either interrupt your story or completely throw it to the wolves... it's a part of comic book writing, an endlessly stupid and frustrating part of it, but part of it. Grant's a good writer, but why does he deserve it when all the other writers who are having their books cut off and relaunched don't? Is it really so important that Morrison finish his story when you're trying to attract people who have never read a Batman comic before? Does that make even the slightest bit of sense?
I thought DC was doing something interesting, but it looks like they're just making the same willful mistakes. The Batman line is an obscene eleven books with Batman, Detective Comics, Batman: The Dark Knight, Batman and Robin, Batgirl, Batwoman, Batwing, Nightwing, Red Hood and the Outlaws, Birds of Prey, Catwoman... and then adding in a twelfth book when Batman Inc. returns next year. Is there even a point for all these books? Batman and Detective Comics are the same exact thing, The Dark Knight was just created as a street-level mystery book to counteract the weirdness of the other books, and Batman and Robin was created as a flagship for Grant Morrison before he left that for Batman Inc. Is there any sense to this line at all?
I try to give DC credit, I try to believe that they're doing something new and exciting that might actually work as a piece of marketing. And then I find out why they say old dogs can't learn new tricks.
And jesus christ, that Batwing costume is fucking hideous.
UPDATE: There's one curious aspect of this relaunch that seems to be getting very little mention at all. With Jim Lee confirmed as the artist on Justice League, Greg Capullo and David Finch both working on Batman books, Tony Daniel on The Demon, and Phillip Tan on Hawkman, there seemed to be a kind of circa-1994 art vibe coming in. Today we got announcements of Brett Booth on Teen Titans and Mr. 90s himself, Rob Liefeld on Hawk and Dove. It's interesting... the early 90s were a sales high point for comics, and the new style of art was a very big part of that (artists were infinitely more popular than writers at the time, as opposed to today). DC's thought process might be that if they duplicate that art style, they might experience a larger sales boom... don't know if they'd be right about that, but there might be some merit to it.
As I said last time, their second-and-third tier characters are getting some interesting relaunches (if they do "The Savage Hawkman" right, that one could be badass) (it probably won't be, but it COULD be).
But the money's not in the second-tier characters, unless lightning strikes and you really nail it. The money's in the big names... and that's where DC has a problem.
First, there will be four Green Lantern titles. Green Lantern, Green Lantern Corps, Green Lantern: The New Guardians, and Red Lanterns. While they're all written by different people, the showrunner here is Geoff Johns, who started writing GL in the mid 2000s and is currently a high corporate officer and Hollywood liaison for DC. His stories are sacrosanct, then, and so the GL relaunch will continue the thread of story elements that started in 2006/2007 with Rage of the Red Lanterns, coming through In Blackest Night and its obvious sequel In Brightest Day, and the War of the Green Lanterns. "New Guardians," for example, has a cast comprised of characters and concepts introduced in Blackest Night, and is helmed by 90s Green Lantern Kyle Rayner. "Corps" features Guy Gardner and John Stewart, who were both Lanterns in the 80s and 90s, though John at least had the visibility of starring in the Justice League cartoon.
I'm not worried about old characters still being used, but it worries me that there's an attempt to continue plot threads, especially plot threads that go back several years and through some pretty heavy continuity-filled storylines (Blackest Night is loaded with old dead DC characters that nobody knows about coming back to life; you sure you want to reference this?). That seems to be completely against the point of the relaunch, but again, it's Geoff Johns, and DC has to keep him happy.
They might get away with it on Green Lantern, but when it comes to Batman, the shit is pounding the fan.
That's Batwing. We'll come back to him.
Back in 2006 or so, Grant Morrison started writing Batman. He had a definite storyline in mind with a full, epic arc. Just to hit the highlights that I'm aware of: he found out he had a son, somewhere in there he became aware of the Batmen of Many Nations (a modern update of a bunch of characters from the 1950s, who are exactly what they sound like, international crimefighters inspired by Batman), was ignobly killed, got lost in time, Dick Grayson became Batman, Bruce's son became Robin, Bruce fought his way back through the timestream and became Batman again but also Dick was still Batman, and Bruce set out across the globe to form Batman Inc. and bring together the Batmen of Many Nations.
Batwing is an African Batman. He's getting his own book, because DC has like two other books with black people in them.
But Grant didn't finish his story before the reboot, it was still going on. So in 2012, Batman Inc. will resume, and Grant will have a big 12-part finale to finish his story. Grant is like Geoff Johns, a sacrosanct member of the writing staff, so he gets to do this. And it's an insane idea, you're hoping to get new readers, and for that you dump them off at the tail end of a six-year storyline?
Of course Grant Morrison deserves it, no writer deserves to have their story cut off. But the truth is that it happens all the time. Cancellations, relaunches, creative team changes, crossover storylines that either interrupt your story or completely throw it to the wolves... it's a part of comic book writing, an endlessly stupid and frustrating part of it, but part of it. Grant's a good writer, but why does he deserve it when all the other writers who are having their books cut off and relaunched don't? Is it really so important that Morrison finish his story when you're trying to attract people who have never read a Batman comic before? Does that make even the slightest bit of sense?
I thought DC was doing something interesting, but it looks like they're just making the same willful mistakes. The Batman line is an obscene eleven books with Batman, Detective Comics, Batman: The Dark Knight, Batman and Robin, Batgirl, Batwoman, Batwing, Nightwing, Red Hood and the Outlaws, Birds of Prey, Catwoman... and then adding in a twelfth book when Batman Inc. returns next year. Is there even a point for all these books? Batman and Detective Comics are the same exact thing, The Dark Knight was just created as a street-level mystery book to counteract the weirdness of the other books, and Batman and Robin was created as a flagship for Grant Morrison before he left that for Batman Inc. Is there any sense to this line at all?
I try to give DC credit, I try to believe that they're doing something new and exciting that might actually work as a piece of marketing. And then I find out why they say old dogs can't learn new tricks.
And jesus christ, that Batwing costume is fucking hideous.
UPDATE: There's one curious aspect of this relaunch that seems to be getting very little mention at all. With Jim Lee confirmed as the artist on Justice League, Greg Capullo and David Finch both working on Batman books, Tony Daniel on The Demon, and Phillip Tan on Hawkman, there seemed to be a kind of circa-1994 art vibe coming in. Today we got announcements of Brett Booth on Teen Titans and Mr. 90s himself, Rob Liefeld on Hawk and Dove. It's interesting... the early 90s were a sales high point for comics, and the new style of art was a very big part of that (artists were infinitely more popular than writers at the time, as opposed to today). DC's thought process might be that if they duplicate that art style, they might experience a larger sales boom... don't know if they'd be right about that, but there might be some merit to it.
Oh, Rob Liefeld. Your wacky disregard for basic human anatomy warms my heart.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Given the boot--UPDATED
This is indeed an historic time for us as, come this September, we are relaunching the entire DC Universe line of comic books with all new first issues. 52 of them to be exact.So it's a complete reboot, but it's not. For some it is, for some it isn't. Green Lantern, for example (according to another article), will still reflect the events of past storylines, while others will not (Superman certainly looks a bit younger now, though I love the high-cut collar and the apparent lack of red underwear, that looks sharp).
In addition, the new #1s will introduce readers to a more modern, diverse DC Universe, with some character variations in appearance, origin and age. All stories will be grounded in each character's legend - but will relate to real world situations, interactions, tragedy and triumph.
This epic event will kick off on Wednesday, August 31st with the debut of a brand new JUSTICE LEAGUE #1, which pairs Geoff Johns and Jim Lee, together for the first time.
Some of the characters will have new origins, while others will undergo minor changes. Our characters are always being updated; however, this is the first time all of our characters will be presented in a new way all at once. Over 50 new costumes will debut in September, many updated and designed by artist Jim Lee, ensuring that the updated images appeal to the current generation of readers.
It's a lot like Crisis on Infinite Earths from 1986. Superman was completely rebooted as if he'd never existed, and so was Wonder Woman. Batman got a new origin story, and some past details were rewritten but then continued. Green Lantern and Flash kept on keepin' on. Hawkman wasn't rebooted at all, and then he was, and then he kind of wasn't, and then they just went ahead and did it, and then he died. It's an attempt to get a bunch of new readers with your new ideas, while not alienating your old readers who have dedicated their lives to following the exploits of the characters (who were already rebooted by Crisis on Infinite Earths... and Zero Hour... and Infinite Crisis...). So you grab the new readers with your #1 issue, and then you ask them to be familiar with past storylines, but not too familiar, and please don't go out and buy the past storylines of this other hero because we're not using those now.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
It's a bold idea to relaunch the ENTIRE line with new first issues, but then to step back at the same time and try to hold onto your convoluted history at the same time is an idea that's already been tried (on the other hand, the post-Crisis early 90s did see a sales boom; on the other other hand, the mid 90s saw a giant gaping chasm in sales). But it's not only bold, let's not forget that it's also an admission of defeat, an acknowledgment that the current publishing line is simply not working. The whole event is an idea to pull in those mythical new readers, and the question that everyone's asking is, will it work?
Let us have no doubts about one thing: some of these new first issues will be huge for sales. Justice League #1 will sell like holy mother fucking shitcakes. Power Girl #1 will probably sell a few copies more than the previous issue of Power Girl. DC is going to make a lot of money off this relaunch boost as curious fans come in to see what's changed, who's younger, who's dead, and who's suddenly become Asian. Some people will plunk down the $150-200 dollars required to buy every single first issue. It'll make them a ton of money among the established readers, no matter what happens (you can always depend on a relaunch boost from existing readers: Justice League was relaunched with a new first issue in 1987, then again in 1995, then again in 2006). BUT, will it bring in those new readers that they're so hoping for?
You'll need mainstream media attention for that, and I really wonder how much renumbering even matters in terms of mainstream attention. Superman #75 did well because it was the death of Superman, and when I picked up Action Comics #687 to see the beginning of the Reign of the Supermen, it didn't matter to me what the number was. And when Superman came back from the dead in Superman #82, I stopped buying, because I didn't care about the old Superman. The Human Torch recently died in Fantastic Four #5somethingsomething (587?), and a lot of people who didn't buy comics bought that, because it got some attention and it was interesting. One of the best-selling Batman storylines of recent memory started with Batman #608. I'm really not sure of the conventional wisdom that high numbers bother people. I think it's story accessibility that matters, but more than that what matters is story QUALITY. If it's crap, it doesn't matter how accessible it is.
And some of these comic books will be crap. I think we could easily say that out of the 52, a good 20 will be barely readable. It would probably be smarter to scale back and really focus in on a few books to raise the quality, but there's not a corporation on this earth that would say "we have a line of 56 products right now, should we repackage 52 of them and cut the other 4, or should we repackage 4 and cut the other 52?" It would be suicide, and they're certainly not going to do that.
So you'll have a good quantity of crap, and for those books a relaunch won't help. But does it even matter if you have 52 good books? Red Robin #1 could be written by a donkey, it doesn't matter as long as you've got a good Batman #1 on the shelves. That's what a "mainstream" person is going to pick up, after all, if they were to pick it up. DC's plan should be to market the holy living hell out of that Batman #1, really get it out there on the internet and the airwaves and in print. If past activity is any indication, they will not do that. They did issue a press release today (which I don't see on CNN, MSNBC, or CBS... maybe tomorrow?), but there's a long time between June and September. Customers aren't likely to mark their calendars in anticipation. If you want that impulse-buy curiosity, you need to keep up your presence, which means not only advertising but also having the damn books where people can see them. People don't buy Cosmopolitan at specialty magazine stores.
And it's a good question whether "people" want comics anyway. I'd probably buy a copy of Justice League #1, just to see. If I really liked it, I'd buy #2. I might buy Batman, sure. It is, however, incredibly unlikely that I would buy a copy of Booster Gold #1 just because it's suddenly hipper and younger. Because I do not give a flying shit about Booster Gold. Who might get interested, though, is kids. In all the decades that have passed since the forties, we've forgotten that the primary audience has always really been children. We adults who nostalgically enjoy a good piece of tights-clad action adventure should be a secondary audience. If DC is going to pull this off, they need to get Booster Gold and Red Robin and Power Girl and all the rest into the grubby, sticky, short-fingered hands of children. Don't just sit back and expect adults to read your press release, mark their calendars, and storm your stores come September 1st.
All in all, there are a lot of issues with this, a lot of potential pitfalls, a lot of places where DC can (and probably will) fail, unless they get their acts together and start acting like the corporate-owned branch of Warner Brothers Pictures that they are. The myth that DC and comic book people in general are operating under is that new readers WANT to read comics, but for some reason they don't, and you just have to give them an entry point and they'll be there. That's not only a myth, it's idiotic.
Comic books were invented during a time that movies were primitive, television didn't exist, and radio could only provide so much adventure. An Oxford University study in the late 50s showed that in houses with televisions, comic book reading had declined by more than 50%. They served a purpose and provided a type of entertainment which could not be found elsewhere... and now it can. Especially today, with incredible video games, beautiful animated shows, and movies with special effects that can literally, truly do anything. Comic books are less relevant than ever before. If you're really going to hook new readers, you need to give them something that they truly can't get from anywhere else. I, for example, read Ultimate Comics because they have the kind of insane yet intelligent stories that I like, but that you'll never find on a superhero cartoon. Persepolis gave readers a rare glimpse at revolutionary Iran through a normal person's eyes. Superman #75 had Superman getting beaten to death by a giant monster. Watchmen, for much of its existence, was a story that could never have been told in any other medium (I once checked Watchmen out of the library and let one of my friends read it; he liked it so much he bought me a copy of it for Christmas). The most successful comic books have something unique to offer, just like the most successful films, and the most successful books, and the most successful video games. I don't know that DC understands that. If they did, we wouldn't have 52 first issues being thrown at the wall, with a vain hope that they might succeed where their previous incarnations failed.
UPDATE: Details on the first ten relaunches were released today, and I do have to give DC credit for one thing, they are hanging on less to previous continuity than I thought. A fair amount of new origins here, and some plotlines established that go beyond "supervillains show up, and they punch them." So they do seem to be breaking from tradition more than it initially sounded like. It looks like the major characters are coming through basically unchanged, but the second and third tier characters are getting a pretty major shakeup. They're also being wise by not simply relaunching existing series, and instead cancelling some and creating others (no Booster Gold #1, for example, though Booster shows up in Justice League International).
So they're being a little smarter than I gave them credit for, and I have to admit that. They are actually trying to reinvent their line and make them approachable. Now if they can just 1) avoid the incessant urge to crossover the books every other month, 2) stay away from classic continuity and never go back to it, and 3) actually fucking market the things, they might have something.
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